QUOTES INDEX PAGE
Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain (b. Samuel Langhorne Clemens, 11-30-1835; d. 4-21-1910) American humorist, novelist, writer, and lecturer, whose early works of humor matured into social commentary against imperialism and racism. We hope you find this collection of quotes valuable in your study of Mark Twain and his contribution to the creative process of Life!

| BOOKS | VIDEOS | MUSIC | LINKS for LEARNING |
| MARK TWAIN QUOTES | MORE TWAIN POSTERS | QUOTES INDEX PAGE

“God puts something good and lovable in every man His hands create.” The American Vandal, speech, 1868

“Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out ... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel ... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for ‘the universal brotherhood of man’ - with his mouth.”

“Man is the only Patriot. He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other nations, and keeps multitudinous uniformed assassins on hand at heavy expense to grab slices of other people’s countries, and keep them from grabbing slices of his. And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for ‘the universal brotherhood of man’- with his mouth.” The Lowest Animal

“No civilization can be perfect until exact equality between man and woman is included.” Notebook, 1895

“Never tell a woman that you are unworthy of her. Let it come as a surprise.”

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

“We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.”

“Man – a figment of God’s imagination.”

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

“You can’t depend on your judgement when your imagination is out of focus.”

“I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.”

“The perfection of wisdom and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be happy, and a virtuous people.”

“Who are the oppressed? The many: the nations of the earth, the valuable personages, the workers; they that make the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat.”

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such trifling investment of fact.”

“One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare.”

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.”

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”

previous page | top